Red-Dye Dog Lady: "Ed Ryan Stole My Dog". Says Dye Job Was "Professional"

Fort Myers FL
At about 3:30PM yesterday, while I was minding my own business, thinking of brilliant headlines for today's edition of the Gazette, an Illinois number popped up on my caller ID. In my always pleasant customer service voice I mumbled "Fort Myers Fitness, how can I help you today? That's when the fireworks began.

On the other end was a lady claiming to be the owner of the red-dyed dog we rescued, and saved from deaths doorstep, two weeks ago. Her accusation made my jaw drop. "You stole my dog". The lady, who did not give her name, said we made no effort to find her and she's been looking all over for the dog. But the conversation gets better folks.

When I asked her if she knew that it was against the law to dye a dog she asked me who told me that. I said the Sheriff's department. She then said "people dye poodles all the time" and I shouldn't be giving her a hard time and it was not illegal. "It was a professional dye job" she said. That's when I think I dropped the phone. Professional dye job. Lady you need to get your money back. Do you see that picture? Are we looking at the same picture? The dog's eye's were infected from the dye. The dog's skin was damaged. The vet said the dye will never come out.

According to chapter 828 of the Florida statute it's a 2nd degree misdemeanor to color any animal. Last time I checked, Stoneybrook was still in the state of Florida. And, if you read some of the posts from yesterday, the previous dog owner admits dyeing the dog. She admits to committing a 2nd degree misdemeanor.

For 10 minutes I tried to explain the steps we took to try to locate the owner. Now I know not everyone (yet) reads the Gazette so being the responsible and concerned resident that I am, I took the parvo and parasite infested red-rat-looking thing in my palm and drove at break-neck speed over to Dr. Jackson for a scan. No chip. More importantly, nobody reported a lost flaming hot, red dog to his office. Then I went over to the groomer. After they got over the shock of seeing their first fire-engine red painted dog, they also said nobody reported a lost dog. Now I'm thinking the first place you go when you lose a dog is to these two places. Because any logical  dog-loving Gateway resident like myself would go to the dog places first.

There were also no posters put up in the Stoneybrook clubhouse or anywhere else in the community that anyone knew about. If someone really wants their dog back posters would have been everywhere, like 7-11, where I go every day because I can't seem to kick my addiction to Monster Energy Drinks. What about the G.S.D. office? Look if you would have put the flyer at the G.S.D. office there is no doubt Bob Nielson would have found the dog himself while out fixing sidewalks. He does that you know. How about AT THE DOG PARK where people who have dogs gather so dogs can exercise and people can gossip about their neighbors.

After about 10 minutes of trying to explain to what I had done to try and find the original owner, and her cutting me off, I did the only thing any mature 45-year old adult would do. I hung up on her. And, by the way, why would I steal your dog lady when I come home to this fabulous physical specimen every night. Truly a gym owners dog. C'mon Chloie let's go for a run.